Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Hesitation in th Face of Failure

I personally struggle being a mother and a parent. Not that I find my children difficult, but rather, I don't find myself adequate... or at-least... I often question if I am adequate for the job and tasks ahead of me. Its one of my fears... that I'm not good enough or that I won't be a good enough mother. Its something that is so important to me, and something I yearn for so much...

I was reading in my Bible, Proverbs 31 - reflecting on how I want and need to be a better wife... and what changes I can make, what changes I have made... and how I can improve more and more. Its very important to me, to be a good wife to my husband; its something I deeply desire... As I was reflecting I started to think and meditate on how I want to be a better mother as well... I know I am a good Aunt, and I know I am a good babysitter. I enjoy children, so much! They give me such happiness and I love being around them, playing with them, helping them grow and learn - but having them be mine, my own - I guess I am almost consumed by the fear/worry of messing the job up, I find it so challenging.... I dont have those fears or worries with other children, because they're not mine. I know I can give them back. I know I am only a temporary care-giver, a temporary guardian.... And then I thought of something.

Deuteronomy 10:14
To the LORD your God belong the heavens, even the highest heavens, the earth and everything in it.

Psalm 24:1

The earth is the LORD's, and everything in it. The world and all its people belong to him.

Romans 14:5-8
 One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind. Whoever regards one day as special does so to the Lord. Whoever eats meat does so to the Lord, for they give thanks to God; and whoever abstains does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God. For none of us lives for ourselves alone, and none of us dies for ourselves alone. If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord

My children... are not... mine. They are the Lord's! I am only a temporary guardian/care-taker... I am responsible for training them in the way of the Lord, for providing them with emotional, physical needs, until they are fully grown and responsible for themselves. It doesn't make my job any easier, in fact it may even make it a bigger responsibility... but reading these verses, just gave me a sense of peace. It made me realize that God has already given me the tools I need to train up my children in the way they should go. That I CAN do this job, and while I still have much learning and improvement to do... my hesitation and fear of failure is greatly diminished by peace of mind and spirit the Lord has granted me.

These blessings... My children, are not my own. They are the Lords and it is an honor, and a privilage to care for them... whether for an hour... or for 20 years + ...

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